In a recent letter to Dear Abby, a paramedic expressed their frustration with their wife's demands for more money. The paramedic's wife constantly asks them to pick up additional 12-hour shifts, claiming that she cannot do any more overtime at her job. She believes that her work around the house makes up for the paramedic's increased workload. However, the paramedic disagrees, feeling that this arrangement is unfair. The paramedic also mentions that his wife takes vacation time to go to theme parks and spend time with friends, but expects him to save his time off and only use it when he can accompany her. Seeking advice on how to address this issue without starting a fight, the paramedic is concerned about the toll that exhaustion may have on their ability to perform as a paramedic.
In response, Dear Abby agrees with the paramedic's assessment that their wife's behavior is unfair. Abby suggests that the couple needs to have an open and honest conversation about their budget and division of labor. Abby also emphasizes the importance of the paramedic's well-being, stating that they should not be working when they are exhausted as it may impact their ability to perform their job effectively.
In another letter, a woman expresses her dilemma regarding her mother-in-law's reaction to her gifts. The woman explains that her mother-in-law has a habit of returning the gifts she gives, accompanied by a note stating that she will never use them. This pattern has left the woman unsure of how to proceed. Despite asking her mother-in-law what she would like as a gift, she is met with vague responses. The woman fears that not sending a gift will be seen as a rebuff, compounding the issue further. The woman's husband has not been helpful, as he considers gifts to be solely her responsibility.
Dear Abby responds by highlighting the breach of etiquette committed by the mother-in-law. Abby suggests that, if the woman feels obliged to give her mother-in-law a gift, she should directly ask for suggestions or consider giving a gift card from her favorite store. Abby also acknowledges that the husband's lack of involvement in this matter is an issue that should be addressed.
Moving on to a different topic, another individual seeks advice on an impending living arrangement issue. The person explains that their sister plans to retire and move in with them, but the sister is an anti-vaccine advocate and refuses to get vaccinated for COVID-19. The individual's husband has stated that the sister cannot move in unless she gets vaccinated. Distraught over this situation, the person asks for advice on how to diplomatically inform their sister that she is no longer welcome to live with them.
Dear Abby responds by acknowledging that vaccination is a personal choice. However, she advises the individual to be direct and clear about the terms under which their sister is welcome to move in. If the sister cannot meet those terms, Abby suggests that she will have to make other living arrangements.
In yet another letter, a mother in Missouri wonders if she is obligated to add her ex's name to their son's graduation announcements. The mother reveals that her ex does not pay child support and is absent from their children's lives. Seeking guidance on what to do, the mother expresses her pride as a single parent.
Dear Abby assures the mother that she is not obligated to include her ex's name on their son's graduation announcements. Abby encourages the mother to do as she wishes in this situation, emphasizing that it is her choice.
Lastly, a person who recently returned home from the hospital shares their frustration with their husband's behavior. The person explains that their husband seems to be expecting them to cater to his needs even though they are on a liquid diet and not feeling well. Despite their weakened state, the person's husband has not offered to make them even a cup of tea. Feeling overwhelmed and unsupported, the person expresses doubts about spending the rest of their life with a selfish and petulant husband. However, they fear that expressing their needs will lead to more conflict.
Dear Abby advises the person to prioritize their own health and focus on getting stronger. Abby suggests that the person openly communicate with their husband about their needs and expectations, including tasks such as making coffee, feeding the animals, and preparing meals. Abby emphasizes that partnership involves both parties supporting and caring for each other. If the husband is not up to the task, Abby suggests seeking assistance from friends or relatives until the person's health improves.
In a separate letter, a person expresses their dislike for their mother's friend, who constantly interrupts family time with phone calls. The person wonders if there is a way to ask this individual to go away.
Dear Abby explains that the person cannot directly ask their mother's friend to leave. However, Abby suggests that the person's mother can set boundaries by asking the friend not to call during specific hours designated as "family time." Abby also highlights the importance of the father addressing this issue with the mother, as he is also bothered by the frequent and ill-timed phone calls.
Overall, the combined news item highlights various interpersonal conflicts and seeks advice on how to navigate these challenging situations.
themes: Missouri
