Intrusive In-Laws, Reckless Cousins, False Accusations: Dear Abby's Advice

10:27 29.08.2023

Grandson of retired woman with autism accusation cut off by daughter-in-law

In Texas, a retired woman who has had a close relationship with her autistic grandson for the past nine years is heartbroken after her daughter-in-law accused her husband of molesting the child. The grandmother, who has had a loving relationship with her grandson since he was born, has been devastated by the sudden estrangement caused by the false accusation.

The retired woman, who is very close to her son, took her husband, who has never been left alone with their grandson, to the police station to clear his name. Her husband passed all lie detector tests, and the police stated that they believe his innocence. Additionally, Child Protective Services conducted a thorough investigation and concluded that the daughter-in-law was fabricating the accusation. They noted that she has a history of cutting off her family members if they upset her.

Despite the findings, the daughter-in-law refuses to allow the retired woman to have any contact with her grandson. The woman's son, however, has suggested that if she moves and lives next door to them, she could see her grandson every day. However, the retired woman is skeptical that this arrangement would last, as she believes the daughter-in-law would come up with another reason to cut her out of their lives.

In her desperation to maintain a relationship with her grandson, the grandmother sought advice from Dear Abby. Abby suggested that the person who can fix the situation is the woman's son. Since the accusation was groundless, Abby advised the son to insist that his wife allows his mother to have visitation with their grandson. If the son is unresponsive to this request, Abby recommended consulting an attorney who specializes in family law, as Texas does grant some rights to grandparents in certain situations.

Husband of alcoholic wife seeks advice on dealing with her addiction

In California, a man has been married to his alcoholic wife for the past 35 years. Despite her repeated stints in rehab, she continues to relapse and cannot control her drinking. The man has had to take away all his wife's work hours due to her unreliability. He is also juggling the responsibilities of caring for his aging parents.

Feeling at his wits' end, the man attended his first Al-Anon meeting. However, he found that there were very few men in the room, making it difficult to relate to others facing similar challenges. He expressed concern that it is easier to throw a man out of a situation than a woman. The man contemplates leaving his wife but worries about the risks involved, including his house, their dog, and the general public if he leaves her alone.

Seeking guidance, the man turned to Dear Abby for advice. Abby recommended consulting a family law attorney to learn about his options. She emphasized that the man cannot save his wife from her addiction and that by staying with her, he is enabling her destructive behavior. Abby urged him to recognize that his wife has already made the choice to drink and become irresponsible, and it is not his responsibility to fix her. She encouraged him to focus on his own well-being and safety.

Grandmother laments strained relationship with daughter and granddaughter

In Texas, a woman writes to Dear Abby about her strained relationship with her daughter and granddaughter. Due to undergoing cancer treatments with debilitating side effects, the woman was unable to attend her daughter's wedding in 2004. Similarly, she missed her granddaughter's wedding after having another cancer surgery. The daughter and granddaughter hold these absences against her and the woman feels hurt and misunderstood.

The woman recently had heart surgery for a double aortic aneurysm and aortic valve replacement, but her daughter and granddaughter have not shown any concern for her health. Feeling rejected and confused, she questions whether she should have attended the weddings, despite her health challenges. She also wonders why her daughter and granddaughter are being unreasonable and distant.

Dear Abby responded by highlighting that her daughter may not fully understand the debilitating effects of cancer treatments and may resent her absence at the weddings. Abby speculated that there may have been preexisting problems between the woman and her daughter that contributed to the strained relationship. She advised the woman to focus on building emotionally satisfying relationships with others since her daughter and granddaughter seem unwilling to extend understanding or forgiveness.

Mother-in-law disregards boundaries and drops by unannounced

In Missouri, a woman is frustrated with her mother-in-law's habit of dropping by unannounced without calling first, despite numerous requests to do so. The woman and her husband have been married for 26 years, and although they have asked the mother-in-law to respect their boundaries, she continues to ignore their wishes.

The woman recounts several instances where her mother-in-law's unannounced visits have disrupted their plans, including a time when she showed up just as the couple was sitting down to enjoy a meal the woman had prepared. Despite being invited to join them, the mother-in-law opted to sit outside on their patio, making the couple uncomfortable throughout the entire meal.

Seeking advice on how to deal with this ongoing issue, the woman's husband sent his mother a firm email, instructing her not to repeat her behavior. Dear Abby responded by suggesting that the next time the mother-in-law arrives unannounced, they should firmly tell her that it is not a good time and refuse to let her in. Abby emphasized the importance of consistency in enforcing boundaries. Although the mother-in-law may not like this change, it is necessary to resolve the problem.

/ Tuesday, August 29, 2023, 10:27 AM /

themes:  California  Texas  Missouri

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