Local Woman Questions the Intelligence of the Men She Meets
IOWA - A 57-year-old single woman from Iowa has reached out to advice columnist Dear Abby, expressing her frustration with the quality of men she encounters. The woman, who remains anonymous, described them as "just plain dumb," lacking conversational skills and displaying juvenile behavior. In her letter, she mentioned that the men she meets are either emotionally unavailable or possess average sexual performance. She wondered if she was the only woman who questioned the intelligence of men in general.
To her relief, Abby assured her that she was not alone in her sentiments. Abby attributed the decline in social skills to the rise of social media. She reminded the woman that although these men may not possess the same level of education, it doesn't mean they are inherently unintelligent. According to Abby, men ultimately desire companionship and relationships, just like women. Abby suggested that the woman might have better luck if she sought out men with similar values and interests by engaging in activities such as volunteering, taking classes, or joining group activities she enjoys.
Furthermore, Abby advised the woman to consider her own role in the dissatisfaction she feels toward the sexual performance of emotionally available men she has been with. Abby suggested that men are teachable creatures and often eager to please if given clear communication about their partners' needs. Abby noted that the woman's communication skills might require some improvement, potentially contributing to the problem.
Friendship Dilemma with Husband's Rude Behavior
ILLINOIS - A concerned friend sought advice from Abby regarding her best friend's husband, who consistently displays rude and insulting behavior towards her. The friend, identified only as "Stuck Friend," revealed that she and the husband, "Dan," agreed to remain civil and neutral during gatherings to preserve their friendship. However, during a recent get-together, Dan crossed the line and directed rude comments towards her.
Stuck Friend informed her best friend, "Eva," about the situation, and Eva promised to address it with her husband. However, Eva never followed up on her promise, leaving Stuck Friend feeling brushed off. Abby recommended a further conversation with Eva, emphasizing that Eva can't force her husband to change. Abby suggested exploring alternative ways to spend time together that don't involve Dan's presence. Abby encouraged Eva to visit Stuck Friend at her home or meet in public spaces where Dan would not be present.
Uninvited to Memorial Services?
MIDWEST - A reader, "Kept Away," sought advice regarding her girlfriend's failure to invite her to memorial services for two of her friends. Kept Away expressed concern over whether she should have been included in these events. She mentioned attending one memorial at her girlfriend's request but felt excluded as she waited for her girlfriend at the bar.
Abby understood why Kept Away wasn't invited to subsequent memorial services, as they were for her girlfriend's personal friends. Abby suggested that Kept Away not hold a grudge over this issue, as it would not be worth it. She advised Kept Away to let go of any resentment and move forward.
Jealousy and Mild Depression Over Brother's Success
EAST - A military personnel, referred to as "Lost in the East," reached out for guidance regarding their envy towards their younger brother's achievements. Lost in the East admitted to feeling jealous of their brother's entry into a prestigious medical program and the subsequent promising job prospects. Despite being proud and loving towards their brother, they couldn't deny their own jealousy. Lost in the East expressed feeling stuck in their military career, finding it dull and unfulfilling due to demanding supervisors.
Abby advised Lost in the East to work on their self-esteem and stop comparing themselves to others. She acknowledged the intelligent choices they made in pursuing a military career that offers financial stability and job security. Abby reminded Lost in the East that retiring with a guaranteed income at 40(ish) is a significant advantage that allows for exploration of other fields. Abby also suggested seeking the help of a mental health professional to improve relationships with others and oneself.
In-Laws Overstepping Boundaries
ANONYMOUS - A frustrated hostess contacted Abby to seek advice on dealing with her in-laws, who frequently invite themselves to stay at her home. The woman shared her discomfort with her mother-in-law's rule of guests stripping their own beds before leaving, a rule she did not want them to follow. She felt disrespected when her sister-in-law disregarded her wishes and stripped the sheets without her knowledge.
Abby recommended having a conversation with the sister-in-law about the incident to express how disrespected it made her feel. Abby encouraged the woman to establish her boundaries and, if necessary, insist that her sister-in-law finds alternative accommodation if she cannot respect them.
themes: Military Illinois Iowa